Accept the Rose

A Children's Treasury of Moments from ABC's The Bachelorette.

ooh he seems like a real cool guy

The Bachelorette, Season Premier

"I am never going to have this chance again. I am never going to meet 25 guys who are here for what I am looking for."
- Bachelorette Andi, who could accomplish the same thing by loitering outside any headshot printing store in Studio City
The Bachelorette, Season Premier

"I am never going to have this chance again. I am never going to meet 25 guys who are here for what I am looking for."

- Bachelorette Andi, who could accomplish the same thing by loitering outside any headshot printing store in Studio City

The Bachelorette, Season Premier

"I literally have butterflies in my stomach right now."
- Bachelorette Andi, who ate some butterflies APPARENTLY
The Bachelorette, Season Premier

"I literally have butterflies in my stomach right now."

- Bachelorette Andi, who ate some butterflies APPARENTLY

The Bachelorette, Season Premier

DORFMAN IN LOVE

The Bachelorette, Season Premier
who can photoshop a picture of andi into this

DORFMAN IN LOVE

The Bachelorette, Season Premier

who can photoshop a picture of andi into this

here we gooooooooooo
The Bachelorette, Season Premier

here we gooooooooooo

The Bachelorette, Season Premier

Anonymous asked: why hath thou forsaken me

i’ll explain it in person when i see you again

Anonymous asked: Thank you for make me laugh out loud so many times over the last two days of reading every. single. post. Please, sir, may i have some more?!

yeah ok

Anonymous asked: did you die

No, but I was hiding in the ~South of France~ where u can’t watch Hulu. as LE FRONCH say, “EET EEZ NOT POSSEE-BULL”.

I am back in LA now.

"This first date with Juan-Pablo is going AH-mazing. We are having AH-blast. Check! He’s HUH-larious. Check! I feel like a kid again! I haven’t felt this alive because of a man in a long, long, long, LONG time."
- Contestant Clare who should calm down about feeling like a kid again considering his inconsistent history of paying child support. But what do I know? I have never been filmed for television alone in a fabricated wonderland of out of season snow with a stranger before, so MAYBE I should just stop talking now!
El Báchélór, Episode Two

"This first date with Juan-Pablo is going AH-mazing. We are having AH-blast. Check! He’s HUH-larious. Check! I feel like a kid again! I haven’t felt this alive because of a man in a long, long, long, LONG time."

- Contestant Clare who should calm down about feeling like a kid again considering his inconsistent history of paying child support. But what do I know? I have never been filmed for television alone in a fabricated wonderland of out of season snow with a stranger before, so MAYBE I should just stop talking now!

El Báchélór, Episode Two

"I know it sounds crazy, but this could be my first date with my future husband."
-Contestant Clare, who is really, really ready to ride that dick off into the sunset

El Báchélór, Episode Two

"I know it sounds crazy, but this could be my first date with my future husband."

-Contestant Clare, who is really, really ready to ride that dick off into the sunset

El Báchélór, Episode Two

"I’ve been through a lot. Like, a lot.* And I’m sick and tired of people looking at me and feeling sorry for me.**
- Contestant Lauren H, who has been through a lot and doesn’t need your pity THANKS
El Báchélór, Season Premier
*A lot? Like, how much is a lot? A LOT like the amount of times tonight that you have told us you have been through a lot?
**Girl, why’d you come on this show, then? lol

"I’ve been through a lot. Like, a lot.* And I’m sick and tired of people looking at me and feeling sorry for me.**

- Contestant Lauren H, who has been through a lot and doesn’t need your pity THANKS

El Báchélór, Season Premier

*A lot? Like, how much is a lot? A LOT like the amount of times tonight that you have told us you have been through a lot?

**Girl, why’d you come on this show, then? lol

El Báchélór, Season Premier

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Cat. Cat. Cat. CAT."

- Báchélór Juan Pablo as Kylie MuffinBrains humiliates herself as she approaches him after he calls Cat’s (Kat’s?) name, not hers GET BACK IN LINE, KYLIE 

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Sharleen wool you assept thees rohse?
"………. …….… … . .… . …………………………………..sure."
El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Sharleen wool you assept thees rohse?

"………. …….… … . .… . …………………………………..sure."

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"I didn’t want to lead with this, buuuut…"

El Báchélór, Season Premier

THEN DON’T! I CANNOT stress this enough. Don’t be the girl who cries at a party and then tries to come back and act like nothing had happened. Don’t tell him you were engaged a matter of months ago and that he left you and that now you are riddled with the insecurities of a fifteen year old accepttherose.tumblr.com. ALL he needs to know tonight is that you have three holes and you know how to use em and that you’re not going to try to give him a massage through his expensive suit with oil on your hands.