"I am an attorney, and with that comes tactics… cross examining and impeaching someone who is not telling the truth. Today Ben will be found guilty of fraud and… impersonating a southern gentleman."
-Hostage Michael, displaying an alarming level of commitment to the idea (his) that Desiree has chosen him specifically to show her what a phony Hostage Ben is.
The Bachelorette, Episode Five
Anonymous asked: On behalf of all people with hearts, I must say / I don't appreciate you bagging on Chris so much today / How could you be so cruel to such a well-meaning dullard? / It makes me suspect that your heart is black-colored / He's there for the right reasons! He truly loves Des! / Just like a Shriner loves wearing a Fez / Just kidding / Chris is the worst / Screw that guy
"While I stand there waiting watching you your dress so perfect you look so cute you reach for red (?) a chance you’ll take the choice is right and your mind is made while i stand there waiting my thoughts run free thoughts of past relationships old to me girls i used to think were true all out of mind as I think of you the plan here now not up to me feelings eternal if you choose me."
-Hostage Chris’ poem, Thoughts So True, written as he read it with no pauses
The Bachelorette, Episode Four
PS FINALLY Bachelorette “Des” displaying the appropriate amount of embarrassment while Hostage Chris reads her the poetry he wrote and can’t see her reaction.
"Like, if you’re trying to kill the enemy, you don’t go an put the emeny.. the enemy in a bomb shelter when you could bomb them.”
(scoffing) “Oh, really? Oh, really. How did the Trojans beat the Greeks?”
"Ugh, they showed up in an elephant at the door and -"
"A horse, they showed up in a horse. They gave them a gift."
"You’re, like, playing a game of chess right now without the queen."
"Lots of people win without the queen."
- Contestant Gia trying to convince Contestant Jake not to save Contestant Vienna, the most vile lady in the land
Bachelor Pad, Episode One
Gia Allemande has died: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/14/gia-allemand-dead_n_3756940.html
Anonymous asked: On my lunch break I saw a woman dressed entirely in denim (rather unfashionable stone washed jeans, this weird little denim vest with nothing underneath, denim UGGs). She had very curly, very tall red hair--there's a 50/50 chance it was a wig, I honestly don't know. And she was talking on her cell phone about how Desiree is stupid and boring. Was this you?
those are my denim uggs
that was me
Anonymous asked: UR DEFINITLY A GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL
you sound very confident despite being totally wrong
Anonymous asked: why won't you post a picture? i think you are female because you have talked about dating men tho i guess you could be a gay guy idk. but in my head your a girl with long hair. i don't know how tall you are because in my head you are always sitting at a computer lol
here i am!