Accept the Rose

A Children's Treasury of Moments from ABC's The Bachelorette.
"This first date with Juan-Pablo is going AH-mazing. We are having AH-blast. Check! He’s HUH-larious. Check! I feel like a kid again! I haven’t felt this alive because of a man in a long, long, long, LONG time."
- Contestant Clare who should calm down about feeling like a kid again considering his inconsistent history of paying child support. But what do I know? I have never been filmed for television alone in a fabricated wonderland of out of season snow with a stranger before, so MAYBE I should just stop talking now!
El Báchélór, Episode Two

"This first date with Juan-Pablo is going AH-mazing. We are having AH-blast. Check! He’s HUH-larious. Check! I feel like a kid again! I haven’t felt this alive because of a man in a long, long, long, LONG time."

- Contestant Clare who should calm down about feeling like a kid again considering his inconsistent history of paying child support. But what do I know? I have never been filmed for television alone in a fabricated wonderland of out of season snow with a stranger before, so MAYBE I should just stop talking now!

El Báchélór, Episode Two

"I know it sounds crazy, but this could be my first date with my future husband."
-Contestant Clare, who is really, really ready to ride that dick off into the sunset

El Báchélór, Episode Two

"I know it sounds crazy, but this could be my first date with my future husband."

-Contestant Clare, who is really, really ready to ride that dick off into the sunset

El Báchélór, Episode Two

"I’ve been through a lot. Like, a lot.* And I’m sick and tired of people looking at me and feeling sorry for me.**
- Contestant Lauren H, who has been through a lot and doesn’t need your pity THANKS
El Báchélór, Season Premier
*A lot? Like, how much is a lot? A LOT like the amount of times tonight that you have told us you have been through a lot?
**Girl, why’d you come on this show, then? lol

"I’ve been through a lot. Like, a lot.* And I’m sick and tired of people looking at me and feeling sorry for me.**

- Contestant Lauren H, who has been through a lot and doesn’t need your pity THANKS

El Báchélór, Season Premier

*A lot? Like, how much is a lot? A LOT like the amount of times tonight that you have told us you have been through a lot?

**Girl, why’d you come on this show, then? lol

El Báchélór, Season Premier

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Cat. Cat. Cat. CAT."

- Báchélór Juan Pablo as Kylie MuffinBrains humiliates herself as she approaches him after he calls Cat’s (Kat’s?) name, not hers GET BACK IN LINE, KYLIE 

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Sharleen wool you assept thees rohse?
"………. …….… … . .… . …………………………………..sure."
El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Sharleen wool you assept thees rohse?

"………. …….… … . .… . …………………………………..sure."

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"I didn’t want to lead with this, buuuut…"

El Báchélór, Season Premier

THEN DON’T! I CANNOT stress this enough. Don’t be the girl who cries at a party and then tries to come back and act like nothing had happened. Don’t tell him you were engaged a matter of months ago and that he left you and that now you are riddled with the insecurities of a fifteen year old accepttherose.tumblr.com. ALL he needs to know tonight is that you have three holes and you know how to use em and that you’re not going to try to give him a massage through his expensive suit with oil on your hands.

"I can’t believe that I’m the one that’s getting worked up."
- Contestant Recently Dumped by Her Fiancee, who JUST NOW realized she doesn’t like competing with 26 other women for the fleeting affections of one man
El Báchélór, Season Premier

"I can’t believe that I’m the one that’s getting worked up."

- Contestant Recently Dumped by Her Fiancee, who JUST NOW realized she doesn’t like competing with 26 other women for the fleeting affections of one man

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Do you remember my name?"
"No."
El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Do you remember my name?"

"No."

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"I don’t consider anyplace a home, I’m just a drifter."
- Contestant Lucy, who sounds less like a “free spirit” and more like an actual homeless person who is looking for a house to stay in for a couple weeks*
El Báchélór, Season Premier
*In some seriously eerie prescience, Burning Love had a homeless contestant named Willow the first season.

"I don’t consider anyplace a home, I’m just a drifter."

- Contestant Lucy, who sounds less like a “free spirit” and more like an actual homeless person who is looking for a house to stay in for a couple weeks*

El Báchélór, Season Premier

*In some seriously eerie prescience, Burning Love had a homeless contestant named Willow the first season.

Accepttherose.tumblr.com                       56
Give me a fucking break
Los Angeles, CA

El Báchélór, Season Premier

Accepttherose.tumblr.com                       56

Give me a fucking break

Los Angeles, CA

El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Free Spirit"

El Báchélór, Season Premier

(I’d take BLOGGER more seriously than this)

"Science Educator"
El Báchélór, Season Premier

"Science Educator"

El Báchélór, Season Premier

heeeeeere weeeeeeee gooooooooooo
El Báchélór, Season Premier

heeeeeere weeeeeeee gooooooooooo

El Báchélór, Season Premier

Anonymous asked: Will you do your thing for Juan Pablo? I'm sure there will be plenty of material for you to use.

I will! Let’s start a wishlist for this season, I’ll start:

1. Someone who poops on the floor, like the girl from Flavor of Love

2. MORE Catfights

3. The return of Contestant Courteney

4. Someone who has graduated from at least grade school

5. MORE murder 

Now u go