Accept the Rose

A Children's Treasury of Moments from ABC's The Bachelorette.
"While I stand there waiting watching you your dress so perfect you look so cute you reach for red (?) a chance you’ll take the choice is right and your mind is made while i stand there waiting my thoughts run free thoughts of past relationships old to me girls i used to think were true all out of mind as I think of you the plan here now not up to me feelings eternal if you choose me."
-Hostage Chris’ poem, Thoughts So True, written as he read it with no pauses 
The Bachelorette, Episode Four
PS FINALLY Bachelorette “Des” displaying the appropriate amount of embarrassment while Hostage Chris reads her the poetry he wrote and can’t see her reaction.

"While I stand there waiting watching you your dress so perfect you look so cute you reach for red (?) a chance you’ll take the choice is right and your mind is made while i stand there waiting my thoughts run free thoughts of past relationships old to me girls i used to think were true all out of mind as I think of you the plan here now not up to me feelings eternal if you choose me."

-Hostage Chris’ poem, Thoughts So True, written as he read it with no pauses 

The Bachelorette, Episode Four

PS FINALLY Bachelorette “Des” displaying the appropriate amount of embarrassment while Hostage Chris reads her the poetry he wrote and can’t see her reaction.

"This rollercoaster used to be a sign of joy, but it’s sitting in the water, destroyed. It’s an eerie feeling, but there is an American flag at the top, which I take as a sign of hope."

- Hostage James’ ruminations on the Hurricane Sandy damage sound an awful lot like Hostage Chris’ “poetry”

The Bachelorette, Episode Four

"I knew on top of that hotel, right then and there, my feelings for you were building and real, the skeptic in me to be found nowhere."
-Hostage …. I don’t know his name yet, sharing an excerpt from “poetry” he wrote about Bachelorette “Des”, in a hot tub
The Bachelorette, Episode Four

"I knew on top of that hotel, right then and there, my feelings for you were building and real, the skeptic in me to be found nowhere."

-Hostage …. I don’t know his name yet, sharing an excerpt from “poetry” he wrote about Bachelorette “Des”, in a hot tub

The Bachelorette, Episode Four

The Bachelorette, Episode Four

The Bachelorette, Episode Four


accepttherose:

"Like, if you’re trying to kill the enemy, you don’t go an put the emeny.. the enemy in a bomb shelter when you could bomb them.”
(scoffing) “Oh, really? Oh, really. How did the Trojans beat the Greeks?”"Ugh, they showed up in an elephant at the door and -""A horse, they showed up in a horse. They gave them a gift.""You’re, like, playing a game of chess right now without the queen.""Lots of people win without the queen."
- Contestant Gia trying to convince Contestant Jake not to save Contestant Vienna, the most vile lady in the landBachelor Pad, Episode One

Gia Allemande has died: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/14/gia-allemand-dead_n_3756940.html

accepttherose:

"Like, if you’re trying to kill the enemy, you don’t go an put the emeny.. the enemy in a bomb shelter when you could bomb them.”

(scoffing) “Oh, really? Oh, really. How did the Trojans beat the Greeks?”
"Ugh, they showed up in an elephant at the door and -"
"A horse, they showed up in a horse. They gave them a gift."
"You’re, like, playing a game of chess right now without the queen."
"Lots of people win without the queen."

- Contestant Gia trying to convince Contestant Jake not to save Contestant Vienna, the most vile lady in the land


Bachelor Pad, Episode One

Gia Allemande has died: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/14/gia-allemand-dead_n_3756940.html

Anonymous asked: On my lunch break I saw a woman dressed entirely in denim (rather unfashionable stone washed jeans, this weird little denim vest with nothing underneath, denim UGGs). She had very curly, very tall red hair--there's a 50/50 chance it was a wig, I honestly don't know. And she was talking on her cell phone about how Desiree is stupid and boring. Was this you?

those are my denim uggs

that was me

Anonymous asked: UR DEFINITLY A GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL

you sound very confident despite being totally wrong

Anonymous asked: why won't you post a picture? i think you are female because you have talked about dating men tho i guess you could be a gay guy idk. but in my head your a girl with long hair. i don't know how tall you are because in my head you are always sitting at a computer lol

here i am!

::insert emoji equivalent of making a “oh THIS effing muppet” face::
The Bachelorette, Episode Four

::insert emoji equivalent of making a “oh THIS effing muppet” face::

The Bachelorette, Episode Four

"Drew is going Shakespeare right now, which is serious romanticism."
-Hostage Chris, who doesn’t know what “Romanticism” means. The Romantic Era lasted from about 1800-1850 and Shakespeare died in the early 1600s, blithering muffin brain
The Bachelorette, Episode Four

"Drew is going Shakespeare right now, which is serious romanticism."

-Hostage Chris, who doesn’t know what “Romanticism” means. The Romantic Era lasted from about 1800-1850 and Shakespeare died in the early 1600s, blithering muffin brain

The Bachelorette, Episode Four

Anonymous asked: Love the blog! Keep doin what u do :)

do i have to

Anonymous asked: I'm expecting you to somehow redeem every miserable second I've pissed away watching this wretched season. Hope you're up for it.

well, when you put it like that

Anonymous asked: I hope you can muster the superhuman strength to recap that rest of this dumb season. I'm thirsting for some arch commentary on Michael's struggles (born with both type 1 diabetes and a terrible personality), Zak's goofy face, Chris's Rilkean verse, a stirring performance by Darius Rucker, and the deeply unconvincing way Des has of stringing along slow-witted men she has no interest in. In any event, listen to your heart. Love is real.

well, when you put it like that

Anonymous asked: what do you look like? pist a pic?

guess

"I’m excited to see "Des" right now, she’s kind of a mystical creature, like a unicorn. She shows up every once in a while for ten seconds and then she’s gone. Usually with another guy."
-Hostage Brooks, who is from Salt Lake City where unicorns show up “every once in a while”
The Bachelorette, Episode Four

"I’m excited to see "Des" right now, she’s kind of a mystical creature, like a unicorn. She shows up every once in a while for ten seconds and then she’s gone. Usually with another guy."

-Hostage Brooks, who is from Salt Lake City where unicorns show up “every once in a while”

The Bachelorette, Episode Four