Accept the Rose

A Children's Treasury of Moments from ABC's The Bachelorette.

Anonymous asked: hep a?

Dengue Fever

Anonymous asked: malaria

no

Anonymous asked: What did you have? Typhoid? Where were you?

I did not have Typhoid, but close! I was in Central America.

Anonymous asked: Where are you? Where have you gone? Are you OK? I'm so worried! We are all worried here! Come back! Please!

Hi, sorry. I travel for work, and I got behind, and then I realized that the absolute last thin I want to do is watch Bachelorette “Des” do anything at all whatsoever. Then I was out of the country for a little while and I contracted a subtropical disease (guess which one!) I am home now and will try to catch up with the remaining episodes if you really want.

Do you? Does anyone care?

i miss contestant courtney

PRO TIP: talking about your horrific accident and bringing actual prints of it is great first date material, right? There’s a joke in here somewhere, right? Are there any jokes, help

The Bachelorette, Episiode Two

"I don’t… know what that is."
- Bachelor Bryden, when asked if he likes brie
The Bachelorette, Episiode Two

"I don’t… know what that is."

- Bachelor Bryden, when asked if he likes brie

The Bachelorette, Episiode Two

penises what are that??

penises what are that??

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

brittstars asked: Do you know any funny recap blogs?

u mean besides this one??

"Strap on your seat belts, it’s going to be a… awesome ride."
- Contestant Brooks said that out loud and I want to shout “NO. NO!” to him and smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

"Strap on your seat belts, it’s going to be a… awesome ride."

- Contestant Brooks said that out loud and I want to shout “NO. NO!” to him and smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The contestants cheers-ing to getting to hang out with Bachelorette “Des” and not each other all day, because none of them know what a group date is!
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The contestants cheers-ing to getting to hang out with Bachelorette “Des” and not each other all day, because none of them know what a group date is!

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

This is Brooks’ view of the “really shady area” in downtown Los Angeles. Oh god, trash in the street? Clutching my pearls! You’re in a Bentley, sure, but you’re also being followed by a camera crew. Calmate wey, weiner.
I used to think a good judge of how manly a man really was, was to see his reaction when he accidentally walked into a spider web. Did he casually brush off the spider web or did he freak out? (I guess I should mention here that I lived in a house for five years with a gigantic rose bush next to the door and opportunity for my {many, many} gentleman callers to walk into spider webs was very great.)
Now I think a good gauge for how manly a man is, is whether or not he is Brooks the Scaredy Cat. What a turd.
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

This is Brooks’ view of the “really shady area” in downtown Los Angeles. Oh god, trash in the street? Clutching my pearls! You’re in a Bentley, sure, but you’re also being followed by a camera crew. Calmate wey, weiner.

I used to think a good judge of how manly a man really was, was to see his reaction when he accidentally walked into a spider web. Did he casually brush off the spider web or did he freak out? (I guess I should mention here that I lived in a house for five years with a gigantic rose bush next to the door and opportunity for my {many, many} gentleman callers to walk into spider webs was very great.)

Now I think a good gauge for how manly a man is, is whether or not he is Brooks the Scaredy Cat. What a turd.

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

"I think that’s what LA is all about."
- Bachelorette “Des”, on the Hollywood sign
The Bachelorette, Episode Two
Not true! As an Angeleno, I can tell you that whining about traffic and Armenian men wearing too much cologne is what LA is all about.

"I think that’s what LA is all about."

- Bachelorette “Des”, on the Hollywood sign


The Bachelorette, Episode Two

Not true! As an Angeleno, I can tell you that whining about traffic and Armenian men wearing too much cologne is what LA is all about.

Anonymous asked: I'm so glad you're back! I was worried that the "Right Reasons" rap gave you a stroke. (P.S. The "Right Reasons" rap gave me a stroke. I'm dictating this to my nurse via winks.)

sue abc for BIG BUCK$