Accept the Rose

A Children's Treasury of Moments from ABC's The Bachelorette.
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

brittstars asked: Do you know any funny recap blogs?

u mean besides this one??

"Strap on your seat belts, it’s going to be a… awesome ride."
- Contestant Brooks said that out loud and I want to shout “NO. NO!” to him and smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

"Strap on your seat belts, it’s going to be a… awesome ride."

- Contestant Brooks said that out loud and I want to shout “NO. NO!” to him and smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The contestants cheers-ing to getting to hang out with Bachelorette “Des” and not each other all day, because none of them know what a group date is!
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The contestants cheers-ing to getting to hang out with Bachelorette “Des” and not each other all day, because none of them know what a group date is!

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

This is Brooks’ view of the “really shady area” in downtown Los Angeles. Oh god, trash in the street? Clutching my pearls! You’re in a Bentley, sure, but you’re also being followed by a camera crew. Calmate wey, weiner.
I used to think a good judge of how manly a man really was, was to see his reaction when he accidentally walked into a spider web. Did he casually brush off the spider web or did he freak out? (I guess I should mention here that I lived in a house for five years with a gigantic rose bush next to the door and opportunity for my {many, many} gentleman callers to walk into spider webs was very great.)
Now I think a good gauge for how manly a man is, is whether or not he is Brooks the Scaredy Cat. What a turd.
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

This is Brooks’ view of the “really shady area” in downtown Los Angeles. Oh god, trash in the street? Clutching my pearls! You’re in a Bentley, sure, but you’re also being followed by a camera crew. Calmate wey, weiner.

I used to think a good judge of how manly a man really was, was to see his reaction when he accidentally walked into a spider web. Did he casually brush off the spider web or did he freak out? (I guess I should mention here that I lived in a house for five years with a gigantic rose bush next to the door and opportunity for my {many, many} gentleman callers to walk into spider webs was very great.)

Now I think a good gauge for how manly a man is, is whether or not he is Brooks the Scaredy Cat. What a turd.

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

"I think that’s what LA is all about."
- Bachelorette “Des”, on the Hollywood sign
The Bachelorette, Episode Two
Not true! As an Angeleno, I can tell you that whining about traffic and Armenian men wearing too much cologne is what LA is all about.

"I think that’s what LA is all about."

- Bachelorette “Des”, on the Hollywood sign


The Bachelorette, Episode Two

Not true! As an Angeleno, I can tell you that whining about traffic and Armenian men wearing too much cologne is what LA is all about.

Anonymous asked: I'm so glad you're back! I was worried that the "Right Reasons" rap gave you a stroke. (P.S. The "Right Reasons" rap gave me a stroke. I'm dictating this to my nurse via winks.)

sue abc for BIG BUCK$

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

ugh these two
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

ugh these two

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

"She’s this ball of mystery, right now, to me."
- Contestant Brooks, blissfully unaware of the complete lack of hidden depths possessed by Bachelorette “Des”
The Bachelorette, Episode Two

"She’s this ball of mystery, right now, to me."

- Contestant Brooks, blissfully unaware of the complete lack of hidden depths possessed by Bachelorette “Des”

The Bachelorette, Episode Two

rahboo10218861191 asked: I only JUST found your blog (I've totally been missing out) and I read back through every single post as far as possible. I was very depressed when I hit the end. There is no question in that.

u give me the strength to go on

Anonymous asked: Where are you? The withdrawl is starting to get painful.

off tha grid

I was like, can I throw a fish with u and they said no and I reminded them they let Bachelor Yawn and Contestant whatever her name is throw fish with them and don’t they know who I am and they said no and I said OK

I was like, can I throw a fish with u and they said no and I reminded them they let Bachelor Yawn and Contestant whatever her name is throw fish with them and don’t they know who I am and they said no and I said OK

Anonymous asked: Do you think Larry was fumbling with his glasses so much because he really needed a cigarette? He struck me as the type of emotionally damaged ER physician who chain smokes. Also he probably drinks every day to forget what he saw on his last shift. And he goes to church late at night when no one else is there and quietly weeps. Dancing is the only source of light in his otherwise dismal world. Or maybe I'm projecting. Anyway, cool guy, sorry to see him go.

opinions

Faces I made this episode.

The Bachelorette, Season Premiere


Tune in tonight to see what other faces I might be making!